Poem - Baarish

ख़ुश्क से इस दिल पर
जब बारिश गिरती है
संभाल नहीं पाता
मचलने लगता है

संभल जा ज़रा
इतना मत उछल।

उछलने दो ज़रा
आज मैं खुश हूँ
दबा सहमा रहता हूँ
day to day के बोझ में
पता नहीं दोबारा
कब मिलेगा ये मौका

जब उछल उछल पड़ेगा मन
बारिश की बूंदों में।
 

Poem - Door Knob

What's inside and what's out
Easy to see
but do we?

I see it and don't see it
at the same time
Light is falling on the eyes
But mind behind the eye
is elsewhere
May be immersed
in the code
or the child
or the husband
or the past.
May be guilt
or shame
or pride
which I must keep.

It's all inside
And I am so immersed
That I don't ever
open the door
Though I know
where's the door knob.

Longing to meet the Divine and non duality – a paradox?

[This article is also a sequel to First Meeting which describes my first meeting with Guru ji.]

There is a seemingly paradoxical longing for Guru ji. Guru ji taught me that I and him are one. There are no two, only one. I have experienced this fact in my first Sudarshan Kriya and in many Kriyas thereafter. Soham. I am him. Yet, why have I recently started having this longing to be with Him? If there are no two, who wants to meet whom? Is this really a paradox?

I had a good fortune of meeting him about an year ago. This was my second meeting with Guru ji. I wanted to tell him many things and ask many questions. But when I was standing right in front of him, all thoughts evaporated. Vanished! I was left with nothing to tell and nothing to ask. The moment of meeting him passed, I did not speak a word and he said nothing to me! Yet, I was filled with joy. Why? How? And what evaporated all my thoughts, all my anxieties?

Answer is, His presence. His presence anchored me in the present moment which is why all thoughts about past and all questions for future evaporated. He who has experienced the oneness or non-duality Himself, facilitates an elevating experience for everybody in his vicinity. Everybody get a glimpse of unity with the present moment and when there is unity with the present moment all dualities disappear.

His presence which anchors a mind into the present moment, gives a glimpse of non duality. Meeting the divine is an experience of non-duality. Longing to meet the Divine and non duality are not paradoxical. In fact one leads to other for a seeker. And for The One who knows, there is no paradox, there are no two, only one, Love itself! Jai Guru Dev!

Poem - Now I know

It is so wonderful
to see the light
through the clouds
of storm.

In the chaos
of what to do,
to see a ray
of hope.

It is so wonderful.

What is that
I want to do,
is what I
have been asking.

What is that
which makes sense to me,
is what I
have been asking.

It is so wonderful
to get
the answer
in the mid of a night.

But not by a flash
or a thunder cloud
muttering the answer
from heaven unknown.

I saw it happen
every day
inside me
and outside.

It is so wonderful.

Was it writing
poem and prose?
Or was it writing
fundoo code?

Was it marrying
my Price Charm?
Or was it traveling
through the greens?

Was it sitting
in silence?
Or was it dancing
in the joy?

The answer
lied
far beneath
in my heart.

In the tears
that i shed
seeing the children
toil hard
every day
to earn the butter
and the bread.

Facing a world
so selfish
so ignorant
full of abuses
and stares,
right from
the womb
of a mother
either unfortunate
or dead.

It is so wonderful
to know
what makes sense
to me.

How I know
I don't know
but now I know
is what I know.

Cave on a Cliff

There was a cliff standing high on the shore of a vast ocean. Waves would come hit it and go back. Soon new waves would come hit it and go back. But the cliff was rock solid. Years passed on and cliff remained there. Non stop hitting of waves created a a small cave in the cliff. Cave started widening over years. Hundred years passed and it became a wide comfortable cave.

This cave was half submerged in water. Small fishes would come in hoards and rest here for a while, play for a while, eat the little growth of phytoplankton on its edge. Cave watched its visitors and the sun which would come up everyday and go down making the waters orange and red from blue. It watched the clouds pouring water some days and the thundering. Sometimes it would watch the bigger fishes coming in and eating the smaller ones. Now even bigger fishes could enter the cave as the cave was widening. Thousands of years passed and cave was much wider than it originally was.

As the years passed, Cave started deepening slowly. And as it became deeper, it became darker with time. It started being so dark inside. A different form of life started flourishing inside. Little fishes were no more interested in going inside cave, in fact they were frightened to go inside. Another thousand years passed and soon this cave inhabited only the dead plant and animal life. Nothing living. With years cave became sadder.

One day cave give a little thought to this phenomenon. What is happening to me. Every hundred years I become darker than before. This is sad :(. And after another thousand years I will become even darker :( :( ... Wait! After thousand years I will become much darker than how I am right now. I am seeing much more light now than I would be seeing thousand years later. When I can clearly see it is going to become worse tomorrow, why not enjoy this better today? Hey! I am so wonderful right now! Wow!

And another thousand years passed and the dead plant and animals started rotting further burying themselves into sediments to form fossil fuel of the future. Cave was observing all this, but with a smile.

[Like caves get darker with time, our hair line recedes a bit. I observed that after every 5 years my hair are much thinner than before but definitely they are definitely thicker than how they will be 5 years later :)]

Choose your life

We make choices all the time and what we get in return is our life. We chose our life ourselves.

If I chose to follow my parents, I will have one kind of life; if I chose not to follow them, I will have a different kind of life. If I chose to be adaptive in nature, I will have one lifestyle but if I chose to be rigid, it will be different.

Based on the choices made at one point, I will get next set of choices. It is like a decision tree. We face the consequences of our own choices and not of others, well most of the times. Let us take an example. Let us assume that it is raining outside. I have no choice to stop/ start the rain, probably (who knows? may be we have this choice as well but we are unaware). But I have multiple choices.

I can remain indoor and be ignorant of what is happening outside; I can watch it with a smile; and lastly I can go outside and get myself wet. Whatever I choose, I will face the consequence of it and my life after this point will change according to my choice, however small that change be. If I get myself wet, I may feel happy for the moment but catch a viral infection later; or, this could be the last rain of my life and I just missed it by remaining indoor!

Abiding by the given circumstance is my choice and making relentless effort to change it is also my choice. Doing things according to my capability is my choice, expanding my capabilities to try new things is also mine. Not choosing anything is my choice as well.
"I am making my choices", as soon as I realize this, I feel free and all complaints disappear. We all choose our lives ourselves, we just need to realize it during our ups and downs. Shouldn't we?

Meditation - then and now